What We've Learnt So Far

We are now approaching our last few weeks of Thailand and although this is sad, it is also a good time to reflect on what we've learnt so far...


Here, in no particular order are some of the things we've learnt about, maybe this will help future travellers, or more likely it will just serve to remind Nic and I what we did in Thailand.

- always have water with you, the day you don't bring water is the day that you get stranded on a dusty road miles from anywhere.

- vests do have a time and a place, they do NOT always make a man look camp.

- remember: 'no spice, no rice' for breakfast.

- always carry tiger balm, or monkey balm, or golden cup balm. Insect bites know when you don't have any and will take the opportunity to flare up.

- try to discover shakes in this order: banana shakes, cashew shakes then banana, cashew and coconut shakes!

- When initially packing acknowledge that at least 75°/· of the stuff that you take will later be declared 'pointless' and thrown out in the first week.

A few thing are useful, however, and I've made a list of these:
1. Tiger balm
2. The 'Maps With Me' app. Also recommended for the amateur map maker is POI app
3. Flip flops
4. Electric tennis bat mosquito killer (although we don't have one, we would really love to)
5. My awesome watch has been very useful, it's been proven to be very waterproof and knows what the time is in Thailand all by itself.
6. Binoculars would have been a good thing to have brought.

Now back to the original list:

- never walk through the jungle in shorts without insect repellent or an electric tennis bat mosquito killer.

- if a man called Red starts telling you how he killed a chicken and two men with a pillow, try very hard not to let him continue that conversation. Instead, try and distract him by asking to see him Poi.

- it is good to know how tides work.

- Thai brides are a real thing and they are bloody everywhere here.

- it is never pleasant to see an old western man and a significantly younger Thai women engaged in conversation. It is always awkward and leechy.

- Americans aren't doing much to disprove the myth that Americans abroad are loud, obnoxious and just very irritating. I know there are some good ones and I'm sad for them because they're already hated the moment they open their mouths.

- over night bus rides aren't as bad as you'd think, they're pretty fun!

- there are so many things in the sea that will sting you.

- if someone has been sitting on a bus for more than 6 hours straight, it can be said that that person has his 'bum badge'.

- lighters with pictures of naked ladies on work the best.

- bean sprouts are so much more brilliant than we give them credit for being.

- if you forget to wash your hair for a few weeks, the first time you do wash it is really amazing.

- I think I understand the point of bird watching now, it's a great excuse to sit around and stare, without people thinking you're just lazy. "I can't go to the shop, I'm bird watching!" Brilliant.

- the last (and most important point) for now... travelling with Nic is wonderful and I would highly recommend it (expect you can't take him travelling without me). He is (generally) very calm and helpful. He is also very useful to have with you as people think it is very interesting to come from South Africa. No one
thinks it is interesting to come from London. I have spent pretty much the last 3 months 24 hours a day with Nic, and he never got boring, so I would like to thank him very much for looking after me and calmly dealing with my minor bug related panics. He is also very useful to have around if you throw your phone in the river while you are canoeing. He will jump into the horrible, dangerous river without giving it a second thought. But Nic does love his phone. As he has been so wonderful, I will add my favourite new photo of him as he is so lovely.

my lovely Nic 

So that is the list for now, I'll probably add to it later. Travelling so far has been an amazing experience and we've seen a lot of really beautiful places.

I don't think it's possible to sum up Thai people as to group people together because of the country of their birth is ridiculous. The people that we've met though have been (mostly) really kind, genuine people they don't give the impression that they resent the ferangi invasion, they seem to quite shyly like the attention.

We've met some interesting ferangi travellers too. I guess there will be a higher percentage of well informed, conscientious people who are inclined to go travelling (and who can afford it) so I guess it's fairly usual to meet this sort of people. This does make for a lot of genuinely interesting conversation, but it also brings out a lot of earnest little, newly dread-locked Trustafarian types.

On a side note, as I said, most of the people we've met here have been lovely, but the worst example we've seen of ferangi behaviour wasn't committed by an American, but a dick head chav English guy. It was when we were in Langkawi at New year's and he drunkenly tried to beat up a car. Malaysian people didn't know how to cope with him. So well done England, you win the 'Country With the Worst Ferangi' award - the coveted C.W.W.F. award.(prounounced 'quiff').